This week, I’m heading to Beach Camp with my youngest daughter as the small group leader for a group of 10th grade girls. It’s basically church camp on the beach, and I’m terrified.

The topic of the week is the book of Jonah, and when I read that book, I can’t help but realize that God is firmly in charge of all of it. The Lord hurled a great wind; he appointed a great fish; he spoke to the fish; he appointed a plant, a worm, and a scorching east wind. All of these things obeyed his voice and did whatever he asked. The only one who didn’t was Jonah. Isn’t it funny that God is firmly in charge of all of those things, but Jonah’s heart was the most stubborn thing in the whole story?

The first time I was asked to be a small group leader at Beach Camp, I said no. I didn’t have enough time off from work to be able to go. One of the lessons God has been teaching me over the years is to go where I’m invited. As his beloved Princess, the invitations will come at the right time. I don’t have to be the boss Queen and make people invite me to things. But like Jonah’s first invitation to go to Nineveh, I turned it down. A week later when I told my daughter that I was asked and said no, she was so mad at me. She already hated my stupid job, and this only made it worse.

But then God intervened, and it became clear that I was no longer working where I was supposed to be. My job changed unexpectedly, and it kind of felt like getting swallowed by a whale. These kind of abrupt changes are very overwhelming, and this was a pattern of betrayal and rejection that was repeating itself in my life. I got sucked into the worries of life, and the fear of the unknown future. Job hunting and sending applications into cyberspace with no answers is so depressing and only magnifies the sense of worthlessness.

I didn’t want to let this sadness to swallow me up, so I decided to say yes to all the things I had said no to because of my stupid job. I called back and asked if they still needed leaders. They did, and I said yes. But now I’m re-thinking everything. Is this really what God called me to do?

In getting ready for the week, I decided to try to memorize Jonah 2. By trying to memorize short passages, it forces me to meditate on them a little more deeply. Narratively, this is set up as a prayer he is praying in the belly of the whale. It begins with “Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the belly of the fish” and ends with “And the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah out upon the dry land.” I’m sure he didn’t have a paper and pen, but I know these were the thoughts running repeatedly through his head.

In this passage, you see the progression of how he moved through this suffering, and it’s important for me to remember these too.

1. Recognize your position. It was bad…really bad for Jonah. He admitted that he was almost dead and completely helpless. God has to bring me to the end of myself and all my effort to see that what I was doing was not where I was supposed to be. For some of us, this is exactly how God has to get our attention: it’s direct, dramatic, and very clear. God puts us in a position that we can’t argue or manipulate our way out of.
2. Remember the Lord. Jonah knew that if he cried out to God, even though he was running away from God, that God would hear him. When I’m in the depths, it’s easy to say that God doesn’t hear me, see me, or care about me. Because that is what I believe about God, I don’t pray or call out to him. But even when we are sinking to the bottom, we can look to God with eyes of faith and believe that he hears, sees, and cares – no matter what the circumstances, no matter what I did to get myself there. God is bigger than anything I’m facing, and he is in control.
3. Have hope. In the midst of the suffering, Jonah believed that he would again see God’s holy temple (v. 4). I have to remember that what I’m facing will come to an end. Jonah says, “Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love” (v. 8). He was running away from Nineveh, a city who worshipped false gods. The sailors of the boat were praying to their gods with no results. I pay regard to idols when I work more, shop more and watch more television to avoid dealing with the real problems. But hope is not found in any of those things. Our hope comes from the steadfast, consistent, never-ending love of God.

Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love.

Jonah 2:8

So as I head to Beach Camp with 400 teenagers on charter buses, I have to believe that I’m right where God wants me to be. Even when it’s hard, even when I’m exhausted, and even when I mess it up (trust me…it will happen), I can’t turn and run in the other direction. When Jonah ran in the opposite direction to fight against what God had told him to do, he was met with a ferocious storm, being thrown overboard, and being swallowed by a fish. How much better is it for me to go where God leads instead of running away? You can’t outrun God, and all your complaining and misery doesn’t change the outcome. God has a way of getting you to be exactly where he needs you to be.

Stop fighting it, and lean in. He will meet you wherever you are today.