When my oldest son moved into his first apartment, we were taking the last load, and I looked at him sleeping in the passenger seat. His launch into the real world had taken a little longer, but when I looked at where he was on that day, my heart knew that he was ready for this next stage.

My younger son moved out of our house this weekend and into the next phase of his adult life. I know that he can’t live at home; it’s just not home to him anymore. It’s time to him to stretch his wings and build his own life. He is ready to be on his own, even if it means a bit of a struggle.

This morning I sent my 18-year-old daughter on a beach trip with her friends and no adult. Later this summer we will move her into a college dorm. No doubt this launch feels very different from the boys, but I know that she needs this next step. We’ve watched her grow more and more independent under our roof, and now it’s time for her to leave the nest.

This summer is full of “liminal space,” and I don’t want to miss it or rush through it. I know I can’t slow it down, even if I wanted to. Liminal space is a transitional zone, a time or place that exists between two states. You aren’t fully in one or the other.

On social media, the graduations and weddings all look really great, but transitions can also be really hard. Changing schools or entering the job market. Moving from one home to a new home. Leaving a job that feels like home to go to a new one. Letting go of one season and embracing the next. Even in good transitions, a tension exists in the space in between – the now and not yet. You want everything to stay the same, but you know it can’t.

Sometimes these transitions are expected and planned, but that doesn’t make them easier. Sometimes the transitions are fast and unexpected, born out of tragedy. But whether the transition is by choice or thrust upon us, important lessons wait for you in the in between.

If you want to experience the tension of liminal space, go stand in the doorway of whatever space you are in. As you stand on the thresh hold between the two spaces, you will sense the urge to move or pass through. When I heard Suzanne Stabile teach on this, she challenged people to stay in that space for a full minute. It’s really not that easy because we are built to keep moving. These spaces aren’t designed to be comfortable or to hold us for very long.

But liminal space is the space where transformation and growth happens. If that is true, then I definitely don’t want to rush these “in between” moments. I choose to stay in the uncomfortable to experience the transformation. I choose to mourn the loss of one space and simultaneously look forward with hope and anticipation toward the next.

In Scripture, we see how God transforms people in these spaces. Jonah was in the belly of whale for three days and three nights. He went from fleeing God’s call to walking in obedience when God asked again. Saul was blind for three days as he moved from persecuting followers of Christ to declaring Christ. These parts of the stories represent a few words in Scripture, but these are the spaces where the work is done.

But even if the transition takes longer, like 40 years of wandering in the wilderness for the Israelites between the slavery of Egypt and the freedom of the Promised Land, don’t miss what God is doing by rushing through them. In wandering, God was teaching them how to trust him and how to live as people of God, not as slaves.

The work that God is doing in these spaces is often inner work that can’t be seen or measured. But this work shows in the results. The same is true in parenting. We may not see the results of all that we are pouring into our kids while they are under our roof. But the results come in how they live once they leave. We didn’t raise our kids to stay in our home and live with us forever. We raised them to leave home some day. It’s a different kind of parenting joy to watch them fly and thrive on their own.

Whatever liminal space God has you in today, don’t rush it. Don’t wish it away. Don’t resist the movement to what is coming. Embrace it as it comes and walk with your eyes on God. He is working; he will lead you into the not yet.